If you are looking for Glamour, Gadgets and Grissom you won't find them here. Forget what you think you know about 'Forensics', these are the tales of one man and his brush. Of course these views do not represent the views of any Police Force or indeed reflect any Force Policies ya da ya.

Monday, 25 June 2007

Great Expectations

Having to live up to the expectations of Grissom and co. can be hard work for your normal CSI, having seen all the incarnations of the CSI Brand and watched all the Discovery Channel specials etc. it's no wonder that you victim is a little peeved when you wave your magic dusting brush and tell them there is nothing of value. I'm sure it's the same for your normal Bobby when living up to The Bills standards of solving it all in half a hour (or is it on for a hour these days.)

I once examined someones car where a Power Tool had been taken off the passenger seat via a smashed Passenger window, I turned to the victim and said 'I'm really sorry but there is nothing of value for us.' The victim was aghast and could not believe that I had failed him. He said 'If this had been a murder you'd have done more, I know how it works, you just don't care about the little crimes.' This is very untrue, if I could help identify a little scroat for vehicle crime then I'm sure if put away it would reduce a large amount of vehicle crime in that area, giving everyone a quieter life (for a few months anyway!).

Of course the victim was right, I simply said 'Yes we could do more, but it wouldn't be proportionate to the offence and the cost of doing so in man hours alone would outweigh any benefits, especially as I have another 10 jobs to visit today that are more promising evidentially than a broken window.' He still wasn't happy, especially when I advised him not to leave expensive items on show in his vehicle in future, the truth is I had done all I could within reason. To do a full examination on a vehicle can take anything between 4 - 12 hours, depending on the crime, and when I have other jobs with potential DNA evidence and People waiting to open businesses it's just not possible.

He threatened to make a complaint, which I encouraged by providing him with the Chief Constables details, my details and various phone numbers. No complaint was ever received as it was all just frustrated bluster, something I'm now good at spotting.


metcountymounty said...

Traffic is an extremely effective way of getting into sus vehicles to see if there's any stolen meat.

Then I tell those meatpackers that we're going to play find the hidden sausages

Afert all what is wrong with a proddy?

As a bonus, if it turns out they don't have insurance or other relevant offence then they get summonsed.

Roses said...

I can understand that. Your time and equipment probably costed more than the claim for the laptop, camera, bag with dosh than that he subsequently made.

PS. What does make me shout at the tv on CSI, is the lovely long haired locks of the lasses swinging free over some mutilated unfortunate. That their hair doesn't end up in the goo...eewwwww!

PPS. They never seem to react to the smell. You'd think that a corpse left out for a few days in the Nevada desert would be a bit ripe.

Whichendbites said...

I am surprised that he didn't 'know' the chief constable already.

metcountymounty said...

'm quite lovely, all tall, well built and ruggedly handsome - and charming to boot!!

What's a sausage jockey?