I arrived at work today to find I couldn't park in my usual spot outside the station. Due to recent events our station has employed a revelation in the War Against Terror, the Traffic Cone. Contrary to my beliefs Bombs must only have a blast radius of a few metres given that the opposite side of the road (away from the station) is open to parking. Airport chiefs are apparently thrilled at this new initiative and are in the process of erecting 2 foot high Velvet Rope barriers around all the major airports. Gordon Brown has applauded these efforts and has promised to have a CAUTION WET FLOOR sign outside the Houses of Parliament by the end of the day.I mean what a waste of money, with the increase in NO SMOKING signs recently, have we not already used taxpayers money to great effect to deter would-be-terrorists.
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I suppose it makes people feel like they're doing something. Like making the father-to-be get towels and boiling water while his wife is in labour upstairs. It's comforting.
Our hospital has simply paid someone to go round with a marker pen, adding "or incendiary devices" to the bottom of each No Smoking sign.
That ought to do it.
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